I intended for this blog to be about peace. My father was dealing with cancer, my oldest brother with drug addiction & a looming prison sentence and we were planning a wedding on top of it all. With the passing of time, I feel more at peace with life. I have distance from all the chaos and I overcame the obstacles or I am learning to deal with them.
All knowing:
Let's just say God is all knowing. He knew I shouldn't have started my Master's program, because he knew I wouldn't be able to handle classes & assignments on top of work, a wedding, my father's cancer battle, and the loss of a brother.
I feel like life is back to a normal schedule and routine. I find comfort in the predictable and the less heart wrenching experiences. In the past year, I realized I find more comfort in routine than I had wanted to admit to before. I associated structure or routines with my extreme coworker who was unstable and unhealthy. I did not want to be associated with that, but it does not have to be so black and white. Brushing our teeth is an example of a healthy routine. Without routines or work, I find myself wasting hours upon hours doing nothing. I am the opposite of my uptight coworker. I can easily relax and not take things seriously. I can give my self luxuries and breaks. She could not take care of herself when she was sick, tired or stressed out. It hurt to watch the evil cycle. I feel bad to be relieved to no longer watch & agonized over her continual self destruction.
Peace in the fight for one's life:
My father completed his cancer treatment the Wednesday before our wedding. He was very weak and sick, but he walked me down the aisle!
His taste buds are slowly coming back.
He's starting to get hungry.
On Monday, he begins physical therapy for his jaw & mouth.
It's a major step to admit he has not dealt with his son's passing.
He begins his mental healing Monday as well.
He physically is healed or not so deathly ill that he can now address his mental health.
This is a struggle for so many of us humans.
I encourage everyone to take action to helping yourself however that may be.
You only have now. As my student simply reminded me, "Today is now and yesterday is the past." Someday is not a day of the week.
Peace out!
